Blah 100% honest in blah 24 hours blah ask me anything blah.

(I'm alive!)

x

ONE OF THESE CUNTS DRANK ALL MY MILK
(also £1.50 jagerbombs for the WIN)

"When I was a child I spoke as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put away childish things."

Brb %n%$time, soulsearchin'.

My speakers broke :(

Great timing too!

5.5 days left...

So I'm updating my LJ. You are all my friends and why not.

Goin' to Turkey on the 25th september, two days before enrolment at university and one day before I should be moving in. I get back to England on the 5th of October. Should be fun, but it's causing a lot of complications with that 'n I'm missing freshers' / get-to-know-everyone-cause-it-really-helps-life week.

I've got almost 1000 vinyl LPs and EPs to record straight to MP3, cut them into tracks, listen to them all individually while samplehunting (cause they're batshit old and the copyright's worn off) and it's going to take -months-. Should get a few tracks on the brew though. Had some sick samples working before I left my computer for 5 minutes and it decided to shut itself down the other day. God damn. I spent time arranging that.

Still need moneys for the good stuff and the sick sounds. It's not happening soon.

Still need to spend more time at it though. :\

EDIT: And listening back to last years' recordings.... I have some fucking sick guitar samples to work with. Some reet jazzy stereo stuff happening there. And it's gonna be a complete cunt to cut up properly.

For all the weed that I've smoked, yeah this blunt's for you
To all the people I've offended, yeah fuck you too
To all the friends I used to have, yeah I miss my past
But the rest of you assholes can kiss my ass.

So not for the first time, I got no sleep last night. I laid there for hours with my eyes closed, counting numbers 'till I forgot which number I was at (lost count after five hundred and something), I held mantras on repeat, I tried keeping my mind blank and silent when this didn't work only to have every little bit of sound there was in the house keep me awake....

Eventually had what felt like seriously, 2 minutes, before the alarm went off and we had to get up.

Tried napping earlier just to have dream after dream after dream. Felt more exhausted than I did when I laid down. This seems to be happening a lot recently... harder to get to sleep, and then always more dreams. I'm not able to control them yet but they do seem to be getting a little more lucid.

It's weird, I never used to dream half as much. Or at least, when I slept, I used to drift off within the hour and everything went black and I'd wake up refreshed. Nowadays, even if I manage to drift off somewhat quickly (by my standards), even if I'm drunk or a little bit stoned, I dream constantly and I wake up after (or during if it's a bad 'un) every single one.

I'm so tired. :'(

Happy birthday jamesfoxes, who's asleep upstairs, and meeeee!

Chillin' up at Teesside with the Danish one and his Danish other half and my very British other half too. Tis good times!

*runs to River Island* omg <3

Now well and truly done with LCM, UoT here I come!

Man, 3 years went by quick enough :) I'm gonna miss those guys.

Got the dual monitors set up, now I can start producing more after today! Yays. :)

( Just need a pair of these: )

Very badly rushed the last two assignments for my module, Composing Music. I'm pretty shocked to have actually emailed those in today, but I've run out of time.

Have the big presentation tomorrow, and it seems that I really am gonna be the only one in my year delivering it myself. There're 12 presentations from 1pm till 5pm about the EP / Product launch, and I'm gonna have to justify my band, their target audience, how the CD cover, mastering, entire style etc... (everything) justifies the target audience, plus about 10 minutes discussing loads of other shit about it. By myself.

I'm not a public speaker. I hate the spotlight being on me. I'm nervous with the thought of standing up infront of 100+ people consisting of my peers and my tutors judges and "justifying" everything I've done this year.

Aaaand there's no more beer in the house.

Staring at two screens
None of them tell me that much
Could just read a book

Bored out of my head
Work is a pain in the ass
Afterwards, no cake

Beer sounds really good
None in the house, however
I could whine some more

I'm so bored sat here
I've written this in haiku
Bricks are for throwing

I really miss my fella :( I want that whole quiet cosiness and snuggles and his gorgeous grinning face. I'll stop before I induce comas and vomiting.

College in 20 minutes... It's the last week, 'n I've almost given up, two years worth of fuck all for a piece of paper that says "yeah, go to the next stage, have a good 4 more years of this".

Oh God we've ran out of Ben and Jerry's what am I gonna do - I seriously need a job, so fed up of no monies - what the fuck is this on my foot and why's it so itchy - as if anyone's gonna back me up in the presentation on thursday.



Aaand I'm done.

Fuckin' AAARGH.

I really hate being me sometimes. I'm all over the top and aggressive and shitty and unreasonable and ridiculous and stupid.

Whatever, fuck it.

Grrrr.

So. Life update. Cause I can be bothered today.

Finished my last few lessons at LCM forevar. That was good, it's been three years and two too many. Wanted to celebrate on friday night by heading down to the pub with severe red eye and a huge grin on my face but alas, my best friend Tom and his devil woman Becky seemed to shit all over that, leading me back to her empty house to be in the middle of some awkwardly hushed domestic drama 'till 1am. Not impressed. Fair does they have issues, but I just wanted to chill out and have a giggle for the first time in three weeks, and I wasn't even allowed by them down to the pub!

Weekend's boring. My gorgeous guy's gone daan saaf to stay with a friend for the weekend since he's based in London for the week for work. So, I'm just sat here in the garden waiting for the pissing clouds that suddernly appear whenever I take my top off to shift so I can get a tan ready for Turkey in september. Oooo!

College isn't really over yet, got a presentation and three assignments to do for thursday. But after that I'm gone forevarrrr! YAY!

So I have 6 days to spend in Manchester from the 21st (next sunday) to the 26th recording in some half renovated chapel with Dowel and underground Manc based label Skeleton Show. There's gonna be a camera crew there for documentation apparently, so who knows, if things progress this could turn out to be the Hacienda of its' types for the label in the underground break kinda way. It's ambitious and optimistic but I think we've all got the skills to get this going, and either way it's gonna be something I'm proud to put my name to.

Now if only my dad understood that this isn't a strictly corporate business type adventure where I don't get a hotel, written itinerary, expenditure budged of any more than +£10 or neccesarily any markup on my overheads and I don't need to blue-sky think about this. God damn.

So. 21's till 26th with the sound crew, 26th till 28th celebrating birthday with family, 28th onwards for two weeks with Danish friends at foxes place.

Busy busy...

...listening skills completed, two assignments started for computer music systems, 2 composing assignments left to do tonight...


...haven't had much more than 9hrs sleep in total since 8am monday morning, came home at 10pm after college tonight, setting new unbeatable personal record for hard work and effort...


...production log to complete tomorrow, the remainder of tonights work, planning a musical product module assignments, computer systems, composing and arranging, head spinning, omg...

So I pulled an allnighter last night and I managed about 4,200 words / 11 pages in the end on my final production log assignment... and I'm still not done. I've covered personnel, roles and responsibilities, microphone choices and justification... still need to cover the mixing processes, mastering processes, and a critical evaluation. For friday.

Need to do 1x listening skills assignment and 1x album art cover / CD inlay booklet ready for tomorrow...

...and tomorrow I have four composing assignments to do, plus one presentation ready for the product launch....

...and then a write up on the music video I've been forced to make to The Beatles' Revolution 9.

Fucking exhausted. x_X

Yeah the country's shit at the moment. People are unemployed. Jobs are being cut on a mass scale. The "Secret Recession" that's gone on for a decade or two's gone full blown fistfuck.

I get that. I really do.

But when retards are hired for MacDonnalds and Morrissons and I'm rejected as an academic young buck with a good two handfulls of qualifications, about to head on to a Bachelor of Sciences degree in september, with all the energy, enthusiasm and sobriety (when required) to do the job, it pisses me off!!

I mean Jesus. I'm making moneys off market research whores who want to probe the insides of my head atm, got some random sexuality research thing that's paying a phenominal £13 this friday. Woohoo, that'll cure the cancer that is my overdraft. Not. That's like, a Big Mac, a pack of gum and 20 Richmond.

Sound engineering's still paying peanuts, pints and cigarettes atm. I should really look into local firms but I'm just far too busy with my college work.

Oh well. Hugh Jackman.

( Cut! )

OH GOD YES PLEASE